Thursday, March 16, 2006

OK Movie Review (Caution X rated wording below)

OK so I had a date night with one of my bestest long time friends, who I never ever see. We have one of those relationships that just work, KWIM. Like we can be busy with our lives for a month or two, then just call and get together and pick up right where we left off. Anyways she calls me up and begs me to go to the movies with her.

We meet up in town, start off with a melonball martini, then off to the theatre to see BrokeBack Mountain. Now I'm gonna speak for most red blooded women on earth.. HEATH LEDGER is HOT! yummylicious infact. Heath in A Knights Tale... oohh baby... So being a Alberta girl that I am, the idea of Heath as a cowboy.....wowowowowowowoy even more dreamy. Boy oh boy was I mistaken.

ok so without a word of a lie...The first 5 minutes of the movie, not one single person says anything...Nothing...All I can hear is the other people in the audience munching popcorn and slurping the sodas. (feeling a bit weirded out already, bad sign 5 minutes into a flick). Then finally you see Heath, and then you hear him speak, he talks as if he has a mouth full of marbles (or maybe balls). Totally garbled, and so hard to understand.

Now have I already said Heath Ledger is hot, he truly is BUT.... Heath kissing Jake...Not so hot... But Heath and Jake doing it doggy style...Totally loosing all sex appeal. Now I'm not trying to come across like a homophobe or anything, and (don't get me wrong, there is no porn in this movie, just lots of skin and moving, so you KNOW exactly what's going on) but seeing Heath like that was way WAY WAY more than I could take. This scene only happened once in the entire movie, but it was early on, and I just couldn't get myself over the scene. You betcha small town girl here. And like I said earlier about the lack of vocals in this movie, after I saw that scene, all I could think about was Heath with a mouth full of balls (and I'm talking the male kind, not the toy kind). It was really bad, really bad, Kyla and I were always asking each other what he said, which after 2 hours got to be quite irritating.

. yadda yadda yadda... 2 guys stuck on the range, get lonely and connect. Good thing the scenery is nice, because there really isnt alot of vocals in this movie at all. Maybe they were trying for the strong silent type? who knows..?? Anyways, they both fight the urge and leave and get married, have kids, then after 4 years they start meeting up again. "Fishing buddies" they tell the wives. Michelle Williams is the first to find out, she sticks it out for a few more years, then they divorce, blah...I had some emotion here... Poor girl! I can't imagine seeing your husband in a necking with another guy.. ( BARF). but basically that was the extent of my emotional contact with this movie.

Now there were some neat parts in the movie, but that was only because it was shot in Alberta. Most of it was shot in the Kananskis Area, which happens to be a super popular recreation area to go camping with your horses!Infact many of the areas that you see in the movie, Kyla and myself have ridden out own horses thru, so that was pretty cool. Some of the mountain shots are actually the 3 sister mountains just outside of Canmore, Alberta. ( about 3 hours south and west of me!) This image is of Mud lake. The main bar in the scene is actually Ranchman's a well known country bar in Calgary ( ah yes...many a TIMES have I been the drunken idiot there! Always a good time at the Ranchmans)

So in conclusion, LOL... save your money. Dont even rent it. Heath is hot, Heath kissing Jake...not so hot, Heath in a sex scene with Jake....yuck. Needless to say, Heath better get doing some new movies to quickly vanish this one from my brain..he has totally lost some hotness factor! Now if you want to go check out where I live, then go see the movie! all the stuff in it is only about 3 hours ( with truck and horse trailer) from me! Infact...I should try to take the same pic as above this summer while we are camping!!

phew...sorry i got so wordy!


Blogger Amanda said...

LMFAO Deanna! I don't know if I would think that was hot either...

9:33 AM  
Blogger Tanya Ellis said...

LOL, your hilarious!!

Im no homophobe either and I have no desire to see this movie at all.

9:36 AM  
Blogger Digimedic said...

Oh my God!! I'm laughing so hard I'm crying! That is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. I soso don't want to see this movie any more! Wait til dh sees what you wrote! He'll sh*t it's so funny! Thanks for the great laught, hun.

4:15 PM  

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